imaaratoN aur gaadiyoN ki roshni se upar dekho
to ek dhundhalaa saa chaand nazar aataa hai
chaand se zaraa nazareiN ghumaao
to khaali aasmaan nazar aataa hai
neeche hai chahal-pahal... poori duniyaa hai ghoom rahi
neeche hai chahal-pahal... poori duniyaa hai ghoom rahi
upar baithaa chaand akelaa apni pehchaan kho rahaa hai
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
12 comments:
hmmm kuch to baat hai bechara chand akela kyon baitha hai? chalo woh bhi kuch kam khusnaseeb nahi hai jo dharti ki khoobsorti ko akela poori tarah dekh raha hai.
somehow i feel there is something missing - the last line does not go with the rest - the poem does not seem to be about 'losing identity' but is about 'moving life' and the stale life around the moon - isn't it? [well, thats how i could read from the other lines and so the last line doesnt match]
and shudn't it be - roshni ke upar dekho?
how about recording n posting the audioblogger post for this? [shud sound great when u recite it :P]
Naval...
the reason the moon is akela is cuz of light pollution, which prevents the stars from being in sight.
Prasoon...
the earth is lit-up with the lights of multistory buildings and the unlimited numbers of cars that run down roads 24/7. even during the night, when traditionaly moon plays the role of a natural night lamp, no one seems to care about needing it anymore. that's why it's loosing it's pehchaan.
...n thanks for catching that typo... it's supposed to be "se" not "ke" or "ki"
maano ya na maano, is duniya mein har koi tanha hai...
hey geetali
great reading your creations.
me from delhi.
wonder why not use देवनागरी to pen down your thoughts...i know it would require some learning to type in देवनागरी but i guess it would be more beautiful in it.
thanks and regards
Sandeep
Sandeep,
Somebody else also requested me to start posting in Devnagri, but I think it would probably take a lot of effort. I'm very lazy :| ...Maybe I would give it a try sometime.
Thanks for your comment,
Geetali
you might like to visit
http://www.tavultesoft.com/keyman/
go to keyboards and search for hindi...you will have to download the software and a keyboard mapping.
I think it is easy to type in hindi using this software.
आशा है तुम अपने आलस्य को त्याग कर देवनागरी में लिखना शुरु करोगी :)
this is simply amazing
बहुत सुन्दर कविता है। कविता में बड़ी सहजता से इन भावों को शब्दों में पिरो कर अभिव्यक्त किया है।
nice!
by the way.. u look like Mirza(sania) a lot. atleast in that thumbnail pic!
I would have stopped at first stanza itself. Its complete and beautiful.
Or maybe change the last line?
@Vivek
Is it complete? How? Kaise?
mujhe vo chaar panktiya adhoori hi lag rahi hain, chaahe main unhe kitni hi baar na padh loon.
Post a Comment